“In deep space, no one can hear you DNF.”
Ground Control to Mediocre Tom: For the 2027 edition, the Great Ultra Mediocre Back Yarder leaves Earth behind and ascends into the deep cosmos. Our forward exploration unit is establishing operations at the remote Blue Range Lunar Base in the rugged Brindabella Ranges for an interstellar weekend of gravitational pull, relentless loops, and cosmic camaraderie.
Whether you're braving the dark side of GumbyMOON, journeying for an entire sol to seek the mysterious GumBABY, surviving for three planetary revolutions in the GumbyGUMBO, or dodging cosmic GUMBY dust until you succumb to the safety of Quitter's Air-Lock, this mission will push you to your personal Event Horizon.
This deep-space expedition is organised and commanded by the cosmic directors at ULTRA Mediocre Runners of Canberra Incorporated.
2027 GUMBY Space Suit: An interstellar piece of high-tech trail armor custom-forged to withstand over 6.71 parsecs of wormhole hallucinations and 3AU of deep-space sleep deprivation. This otherworldly talisman will never exist again after this launch window concludes.
Zero spare space suits will be sold on race weekend. When you arrive at the Blue Range Spaceport in April 2027, the last thing you want is to stand in the starting corral in mundane civilian apparel while everyone else is rocking this immaculate cosmic kit. Avoid gravitational regret—get on board with this year’s mission theme before the pre-order hatch seals permanently!
Prepare for hyperspace jump! The GumbyGUMBO returns for 2027 as the ultimate multi-day deep space trial for endurance cosmonauts seeking enlightenment and a 100-mile (161 km) logbook entry.
That is 24 orbital loops total (100 miles / 161 km) across one unforgettable weekend. Survive all 24 yards across the three days and earn the legendary 100-Mile Space Mission Patch. Available for the same registration fee as the standard GUMBY, providing three separate finish lines for the price of a statistically probable DNF!
A four-lap twilight expedition taking flight on Friday evening, 23 April 2027. Covering 26.8 km under starlight, lunar shadows, and deep space silence. It is the ideal mission for dipping your space boots into the vast ocean of Last-One-Standing running. The first cosmonaut across the finish line on Lap 4 will be crowned the Starchild - Knight of the International Space Station.
The main deep space mission launches Saturday morning, 24 April 2027. A brutal 6.71 km orbital loop executed every 60 minutes on the launch siren until only one cosmonaut remains standing. Every other participant will meet their inevitable Event Horizon (DNF), but fear not: our famous Quitters Air-Lock Ceremony awaits with an ice-cold Quitters Bitter and a collector's mission keepsake.
An 8-lap daylight solar expedition kicking off on Sunday morning, 25 April 2027. 53.6 km of rugged terrain, stellar climbs, and good vibrations. The first commander to guide their spacecraft home across the finish line on Lap 8 will claim the planetary crown!
Twilight takeoff into deep space starlight (4 yards / 26.8 km). Orbit like the ISS on yard 4.
Yard 1 commences. Hourly repeats until one cosmonaut stands.
8 hours of solar energy (8 yards / 53.6 km). Final yard at ludicrous speed.
Planetary life support and base capacity strictly limits our flight roster to:
Slots fill rapidly upon mission authorization.
Strict ceiling. Elite space exploration unit.
Daylight squad quota.
Exclusive twilight recon squadron.
Your mission entry price depends on when you confirm your flight readiness with Mission Control.
Flagship GUMBY or GumbyGUMBO multi-sol stage at same price!
Includes unlimited oxygen supply and finisher's momento.
Under the stars. Headlamp and standard issue hi-viz vest required for night recon.
*Base Camp Fees: Spaceport camping is $12 per cosmonaut per night (reserve during mission registration).
*UMRoC Alliance Discount: Active financial members of ULTRA Mediocre Runners of Canberra receive a 10% discount on all entry categories.
*Flight Cancellations & Refunds: Review full protocol details in our Event Policies document.
Reserve your coordinates on the launchpad before allocations are consumed by gravitational pull.
Launch Registration Portal 🛸Clockwise orbit? Counter-clockwise orbit? In deep space, celestial mechanics govern all motion. Mission Control will determine the orbital vector direction prior to the first launch siren.
The trajectory consists of 6.71 km (4.167 miles) of undulating alpine fire trails, planetary dust, and mountain gradients. Each loop launches from the Base Corral at Blue Range Spaceport and exits via the northern airlock.
Ascend Blue Range Road towards Poo Bear Corner (scanners on for native wildlife). Climb north, then glide down the Pokey Crack chute and through native timber to Dead Horse Gate Road.
Bank right, ascend the heights of Burnt Knob, and marvel at the panoramic view of the cosmic expanse. Descend towards Pissing Contest Point, wind past Facebook Hill, and embark on a short hyperspace excursion down Gumbilical Lane.
Re-align with Facebook Hill, descend the rocky slope, and touch down back at the Blue Range Spaceport Corral. Mission nominal.
Exit the north gate, banking hard right up the rocky slope to Facebook Hill. Veer right for your scouting mission down Gumbilical Lane.
Return to Facebook Hill and cruise down the wide logging highway. Weave around to Pissing Contest Point, keep left, scale Mt. GUMBY, and soak in the rugged Brindabella atmosphere.
Climb again to Burnt Knob before banking south. Slide through Pokey Crack, execute a sharp left at Poo Bear Corner, and descend smoothly to the Blue Range Spaceport Corral.
Blue Range Spaceport is an authentic, off-grid mountain outpost. There is no mains electrical power and no treated tap water supply. Planetary survival requires self-sufficiency.
Permanent composting toilets and supplementary mobile hygiene units are positioned at base. Our Zero Space Junk Policy applies: pack out everything you bring in. Do not pollute the planetary surface.
Potable drinking water and electrolyte fuel tanks are stationed at the corral start/finish area. Keep hydration flasks replenished before each launch.
Gas cookers and communal prep counters are available in the camp kitchen shelter to heat cosmonaut rations and brew hot recovery fluids.
Civilisation and supermarket depots are 45 minutes away in Canberra. Arrive fully provisioned with your rations, warm layers, batteries, and spare gear.
Camping is $12 per cosmonaut per night. Please reserve your spot during online registration.
*Telemetry times are preliminary and subject to orbital clearance.
Enormous gratitude to the stellar partners powering our life-support systems: The Runner's Shop Canberra.